Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The moral of the story is...

...don't try to die in radiology.

One of the patients my team has needed a paracentesis this morning. This involves, basically, sticking a needle into someone's belly and pulling out excess fluid. Despite what you might think from the title of my post, this went quite well. I pumped about 2 liters of fluid out of Mr. Block, and he felt better immediately.

Then, we started ending the procedure. This involves pulling the needle out and putting a band-aid over the hole. Seriously. But we also packed gauze under the band-aid to absorb some fluid. So, thinking one band-aid was not enough, I asked the tech for another. But we were in the radiology department. And the tech wasn't able to find one.

Now I have heard that the two toughest things to find in a hospital are aspirin and band-aids, so I tried again.

"Have you any tape?"
[tech leaves
[tech enters
"No, we don't."

I was a bit surprised, but perhaps naively so. A procedure clinic without dressing tape? What is up with that?

Also, I came up with a few witticisms which are probably way funnier since I've spent the last thirty-four hours without sleep:

A hospital is a lot like a casino, because in both a)time has no meaning, and b)the only people doing well are the ones working there.

Also, you might be a med student if...you've ever needed to check your cell phone to tell what day it is. Apparently it's Tuesday.


zhoen said...

This is why nurses carry scissors and tape and pens. Because they may be in a department without those things.

Anonymous said...

what, no link to wikipedia. heavens, why not? ;)